As spring approaches and this lovely season starts, we tend to start cleaning our spaces and refresh our homes. It is a new season, great for a new beginning. Yet, most of the time, we tend to spend more time with cleaning and re-organizing our physical things, than to re-organize, and de-clutter our mind: old negative thinking, old broken beliefs, negative situations, old hurts, guilt, self-sabotage and unforgiveness of the past or present situation. All of this mental clutter causes blockages in mind, body and our experiences.
As our stuff at home or office eventually needs cleaning and re-organizing, so does our mind. We may be still holding on to old patterns in our mind, heart or soul, that only will create the similar or the same outcomes. It is time to let go, refresh an start fresh.
Tips to help you:
Recommendation: get a notebook, where you can write your Aha moments, thoughts, and important notes. This will not only help you be more aware, but you will also see your progress! I always recommend this, even with my clients that I coach. This way not only they know what we are working on together, but they also see the progress and later, their overall transformation.
!. Letting go of negative thinking
If negative thought comes, do not pay attention to it, rather just acknowledge it, but just observe it. Do not judge it, give it more attention or focus. Instead, re-focus on something else / something that feels good. You control your own thoughts, you can re-direct your focus and therefore focus on things that are beneficial, optimistic, kind and loving.
2. Let go of negative speaking
A) speaking/voicing your opinion/ aloud
Reflect on what you are about to say first. Take a few seconds. If it is just negative talk or if you are just talking bad without thinking, think twice about if you need to voice it aloud. In this case, it does not matter if you express things aloud for yourself (mostly cursing), or if you speak aloud with another person or a group.
(I had a client that would come and say to herself: I am so stupid at least 5 times in 5 minutes, without even knowing. She would condemn herself so much, that after she said it so much, that I stopped her and told her if she noticed, how is she condemning herself? Of course, she was not aware, but after I spoke to her, she stopped talking to herself like that. It looks harmless, but it is not. When she said: Who cares, I am just talking to myself for making a mistake. Well, it does matter, because it also shows how you treat yourself. What relationship you have, with yourself, on a deeper level. Negative thinking and speaking does effect every other level of your being, and of course, it promotes the vicious cycle of the same self-sabotaging behavior as well.
Of course, if you are dealing with some situation that needs resolution, state it as it is (whatever the problem is, as it is now) and then progress onto the solution. If all day you just speak negatively about yourself, others or other situations, you are still, spiritually speaking, communicating to your deeper mind. You always get the same or similar, of what you focus on. If it is not something that is prosperous or blesses you or others, rather not say anything at all. Train yourself to be mindful about what you are speaking about, at every moment of time. Gain more awareness of what you are speaking about. Most of the time, you will be shocked about what you are speaking about for yourself and others.
This exercise will also train you to speak on purpose and with intention.
I learned this by experience, back in 2010. I was having back issue, lost lot of weight because of the pain, and I was working on my healing as well as taking time to do my soul searching. I also realized, how I was speaking to myself, and how upset I was about my back. Every time I wanted to say something negative about my health back then, I would just practice silence instead. One time I caught myself in half of a sentence, and then I realized it is not a lovely thing (about my health), so I stopped in a middle of the sentence. Of course, if you need to speak to your doctors, do it and tell him how things are. But do not just speak vainly all day about things, that you are trying to improve and resolve - in this example your health.
B) speaking inwardly
Yes, You speak to yourself all the time. Do you know what are you saying to yourself about yourself or others? Most people tend to criticize themselves or others. Be aware of what you are saying within yourself. This is when keeping the journal is a valuable tool.
3. Letting go: negative emotions (past or present)
Negative emotions are: hate, anger, guilt, shame, depression, regret, grief, etc.
Also notice:
Negative emotions feels heavy. Positive emotions feel light.
Notice during the day, how you feel. This will tell you, where on the positive/negative scale, you are, at each moment. Of course, life is a constant movement, so there may be times when there is a grief (somebody passes away) and that is a healthy way to deal with it, but, if for example, you feel any negative emotions most of the time during the day - everyday, you need to resolve it and let it go.
4. Forgiveness (from your heart, not from your mind)
I have never met a client (including myself when I was working on my own healing back in 2010 / before I started coaching professionally), that we would not need to work on forgiveness. All negative situations - past or present, need to be cleared and resolved in order to live happier life and experience true well-being. Well being just means exactly that: Well + being. Well in your being. Being well. Being well and content with all things, including past and present. That requires true forgiveness from the heart, not from your mind or logic.
Forgiveness is not something you just decide to do. It is something you feel is right for you, and you truly forgive from the bottom of your heart. That is the correct way to do it, where love (highest vibration) clears all unlike itself, and makes all things right again (in your whole being). It is a feeling of clearing and letting go.
I do not know any person, that in the past or present, would not have any negative experience or adversity. Experiences makes us grow. Most of us had to deal with health issues, relationship issues, financial issues, family issues, religious issues or whatever it may be for you. This is where forgiveness comes into place.
If you feel blocked in any life area, truly ask yourself:
What or who do I need to forgive? (This applies to people, groups, or situations, too. And of course, that applies also yourself. Forgive yourself too!!!)
Usually, a picture of a person or situation will come to your mind. That is a good thing. Now, you can forgive and let it go, once and for all. The best way is to write each name or situation down. In the beginning, you will be surprised how may things will make it on the list to be resolved.
Important notes to remember:
just because something ended, and you may call it past, does not mean it ended or that it got resolved.
''Nothing resolve itself, until you are ready to resolve it! Unresolved hurtful past will not miraculously resolve itself, YOU need to make the effort to resolve it by forgiveness, and let it go. It requires an intentional resolution, and forgiveness that is felt from your heart. It is forgiveness, that leads back to harmony in mind, body and experiences.''
Past relationships & situations are not past, if you still dwell in that hurt, in your present moment.
Also, forgiveness is necessary, in order to heal the situation, so you can move forward. You will be blocked, until you are ready to forgive. Forgiveness will move you forward. After forgiving, there will be a new space for something even better.
Book recommendation (also available on Youtube).
The 7 day mental diet: Dr.Emmet Fox
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If you need help or if you are stuck and you would like additional personal coaching, please visit:
Written by: Zdenka Ramani
www.RamaniCoaching.com
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